Battletech: Planet's Fall

This would be the last place where the other Penguins would look for Alex. The mechwarior was a bit on edge and needed to practice aiming. So Alex decided to skip breakfast and hit the range. Commonly Alex would be on the hangar preparing Firefly for a battle and helping the Technicians prep the Mechs for battle. Alex probably will be missed there.

Butcher was in the range/armory, his new office. He had a technical manual for a submachine gun and the gun itself. He was going through the cleaning steps. His comm kit was tuned to the unit's dispatch, waiting for the call.

He seems pretty calm in comparison to Alex. The other mechwarrrior gets a wave as he enters.

Alex just continued with the practice. Most of the shot were missed. The young warrior sighed as the ideas came an went.

"You doing good, Sergeant Kovac?" Butcher asks. He looks up from the technical manual to look at the person he was addressing.

"I am good." Alex nodded yet the penguin tried to hide the emotion felt. It wasn't fear, more frustration and a bit of sadness.

"I ain't Steffen. Not good at the whole helping people out thing. But you seem a bit down compared to normal," John replies.

"What's going on?"

Alex took a deep breath as the warrior shot the target. "I don't want to lose any one today ... I feel that my hands are tied not able to help anyone." The pilot explained.

"Ah," he said with a nod. "I get that one too. It's an annoying little feeling that gets out of control pretty easy."

He folds the manual shut.

"You want to save everyone. I do to. But that ain't always possible and you know it. That's where the bad feeling comes from for me."

"I know, John... I know..." Alex frowned as the warrior made the next shot, off to the left. "It doesn't change the fact that it hurts to lose people." The Penguin lowered the head in trying to compose what little will the penguin had.

"Sticks with you when you do. But there ain't one of them that would want you to feel bad."

Butcher takes the technical manual and rolls it into a tube while talking.

"But you're a good warrior and your folks are safer with you. They trust you and you earned that trust. You got a good fight in you."

"Am I? I couldn't even start my mech when we where setting camp..." Alex sighed. "What good is a pilot if they can't even start their mech?"

"You mean after getting in it after four months of travel with no piloting? You shook out the cobwebs and you got it moving. Just because some folks got back into it a few hours quicker don't mean you're not as good a pilot. You're beatin yourself up, like other folks, over something that is totally reasonable."

Alex sighed. "I guess you are right." The Penguin took deep breath and placed the weapon down. "I have been in other battles but I don't know what is wrong with me today..." The warrior shook the head and closed eyes. "I need to get a grip..." The young warrior looked at John and smile then frowned. "I can't..."

"What do you usually do to hype before a fight?" he asks, curious.

"I sometimes run, others sing, but right now I don't feel like doing those things." Alex sighed. "I just feel like I want to be alone and cry." The Penguin pursed lips. "I know I have to be strong for my Lance."

"You gotta be strong for your lance. But that don't mean your strength has to come from yourself. And I ain't gonna judge. You want me to lock up the range for a little?"

Alex eyes watered. "You would do that for me?" The pilot nodded as agreeing to the lock of the place.

"Yeah," John replies as he stands to move. He takes the weapon he was working on with him, because you never leave your weapon unattended. Getting to the door, he puts out a sign that indicates he'll be back shortly and locks up. He heads back and sets the weapon aside on the little workbench for weapon cleaning and maintenance.

"Shit gets to people. We all gotta deal with it. Some handle it better than others. I get in fights and cry alone in my room," he says with a shrug. "But if life were easy we'd never need to go to war and things would always be happy." He waves Alex over to join him.

"I know John..." Alex sighed as the warrior put away the practice gun. "We would have not met." The Penguin walked over. "But it would be easier life right..."

"Well, I wouldn't jump to conclusions. The hard shit is how we get stronger, how we learn to survive. We need the struggle. But the nice moments we find between make it worth it."

And then he moved closer to Alex to give him a hug.